Bold & Beautiful’s Paris and Tom Just Proved This Show Is Making Things Up As It Goes — Which Isn’t Necessarily A Bad Thing

Credit: Howard Wise/JPI; CBS Screenshot

I’m more convinced than ever that Bold & Beautiful‘s writers have absolutely no long-term plans and are making things up as they go along. But in a weird way, I’m kinda ok with it, especially if things remain as entertaining as they were this week. Let’s take a deeper dive, shall we? 

Love, Forrester Style

Sometimes, Bold & Beautiful storylines take unexpected twists which are fun in the moment, but make about as much sense as a religion built around an intergalactic warlord named Xenu. But if the point is to make the most interesting show you can, then maybe they’re on the right track. And several of this week’s twists, random though they seemed, proved more interesting than the endless conversations which often take center stage. More importantly, they worked, to a degree.

At first, I kinda felt as if Thomas coming home from Paris with the ultimate souvenir was ridiculous. But the more I thought about it, the more his engagement to Paris made sense, at least from his point of view.

Thomas made it clear during his romance with Hope that he wanted to settle down, and his desire to do so as quickly as possible became clear, too. Were he a patient guy, he’d have happily waited for Hope. Remember, she didn’t reject his marriage proposal, she simply wasn’t ready to dash down the aisle on his timetable. So what’s a guy to do? In the immortal words of Stephen Stills, “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.”

As plot twists go, this one was pretty great. And what’s really surprised me is how much I’m enjoying Paris this go-round. I’ve liked Diamond White since first she joined the show. But her storylines? Not so much. The most memorable thing about her relationship with Zende was the date during which he presented her with an old-lady gown and a prank turned her into a human whoopee cushion. But during the brief time she and Thomas lived together, I recall thinking, “Hmm, this could be something.”

Of course, I think we all know her relationship with Thomas will last about as long as a gallon of ice cream left on the counter during a heatwave. But break out the folding chairs and get Carter on the phone, ’cause we’re clearly heading for a wedding.

A Whisper of Desire

On the one hand, Hope’s reaction to the news of Thomas’ engagement makes sense. Who wouldn’t be surprised to find out that the guy who’d been proposing to you on a semi-regular basis replaced you the way one would dead batteries in the remote? But her very big, very emotional reaction would have made more sense if we’d seen any signs of her regretting having pushed Thomas away.

Instead, we’ve been watching her dream about getting hot and heavy with — all together now — Steffy’s husband. Are we to assume that this new, post-Liam version of hope simply buys a ticket to Fantasyland any time a guy treats her halfway decent? Remember, that’s how things started with Thomas… she began having sexy daydreams about him because, in essence, he wasn’t treating her like crap.

Won’t Someone Think Of the Children?

We talk a lot about the fact that Taylor is needed on the canvas, and we list the various reasons why. Well, this week we got yet another reason: Poor Douglas is gonna need all the free therapy he can get from Grandma Taylor.

Sorry, but I think it’s 15 different kinds of wrong for the kid to be calling Paris “mom.” I felt the same way when Douglas first began calling Hope “mom” years ago. Over time, it became less egregious, because she really did come to be a huge and important part of his life. But with him calling Paris and Hope mom at the same time? Yeah, that’s messed up.

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Worse, it robs us of what could be a lovely moment down the line. Let us see Douglas and Paris bonding. Then, eventually, play the scene in which he says it feels weird to call her Paris and they decide, together, that he can call her “mom” if he wants. And maybe have Douglas struggle with that, saying he feels disloyal to his other mom. That would feel real, genuine and earned as opposed to what we saw this week, when Douglas calling Paris “mom” felt not only unearned but like nothing more than what it was: a quick-hit plot point designed entirely to make Hope feel like crap.

Daddy Issues

Who out there thinks that when Bold & Beautiful brought Clint Howard on, the plan from the start was to tie him to Poppy’s past? Because if you honestly believe that, I’d like to discuss a certain Brooklyn-based bridge I just happen to be selling.

To be clear, Luna’s backstory has been a mess from the beginning. Remember when Poppy was calling and begging her to stay away from the Forrester clan? Why? Er… um… never mind, because they then rewrote history to make it Li who wanted to keep Luna away from the Forrester clan because… er… um. Reasons!

Obviously, we all knew there had to be more to the story than Bill being Luna’s dad. Watching the newly-reunited family bliss out was about as exciting as your typical episode of Young & Restless, which has forgotten that a key element to a successful daytime drama is, well, drama. (You can read our thoughts on that troubling situation here.)

So now we have Tom insisting that Luna is his daughter. But if that turns out to be true, there are a whole lot of things I’m going to need explained. For example, we’ve been assuming that Li altered the paternity tests, despite being unable to figure out exactly why. We’re even less clear now as to why either woman would have altered the tests. And what are we to make of Poppy? Is she the gold-digger her sister claims, and if so, couldn’t she have passed Luna off as a rich man’s daughter years earlier?

Random Thoughts

• I’m annoyed that Liam has been reduced to nothing more than a talk-to for anyone who wants to discuss his new sister. Remember a month or two ago, when he was all, “I’m gonna get Steffy back!” It looked as if the notorious waffler was going to go all (or at least slightly) villain on us, and I was 100 percent here for it. But again, these writers get an idea on Monday and forget about it by Tuesday, so that went absolutely nowhere.

• Nice, quick shout-out to Deacon’s days as a club owner. It’s easy to forget just what a long and storied history Deacon has (as detailed here).

• I guess we’re done with the R.J./Luna/Zende story, at least for the time being? It seems pretty obvious that Thomas will be reclaiming his position as lead designer on the Hope for the Future line so that they can take lots of awkward meetings.

• Lori Wilson, one of the editors here at Soaps.com, speculated that Poppy would be drugging Tom’s bright blue cocktail. Lori’s reasoning? “That drink is so distracting, something has to happen with it!”

• I’m going to be setting sail Saturday on the Queen Mary 2 — the world’s last remaining ocean liner — which means I’ll be handing next week’s Soapbox column off to deputy editor Charlie Mason. All I can say is look at his profile pic and that should give you some idea of what you’re in for!